I had the pleasure last week of meeting an incredible mom of two young boys. Her energy was infectious and she was filled with so much joy and insight!
As she and I were discussing child therapy. She stated "Children don't rationalize their feelings." I'm sure she could see the lightbulb shine brightly above my head, as a I repeated, "Your absolutely right, most children don't rationalize their feelings!"
Which got me thinking...
Why do so many adults?
Many times if a child thinks something is scary -it is scary. No questions asked, no rationalizations involved.
This does not seem to be the case for many of us.
Using myself as an example (EEK!) I can think of a million times I've talked myself into feeling more comfortable doing something that my gut told me was uncomfortable. I constantly talk my self out of feeling scared, when I likely should be. And there have been times when I've meet someone who I don't quite like, but can't put my finger on why, only to make hundreds of excuses for my feelings towards them, but why?
How many of us have lost touch with our guts? And when did we lose our ability to sit with our feelings of discomfort without rationalizing them (Sound familiar?). This is not to say we shouldn't try something we are afraid of, or give a person who rubbed us the wrong way a second chance- but I would suggest using a little mindfulness to sit with those feelings of discomfort rather than rationalizing them away. Just as we tell our children it is ok to feel sad, mad, glad, fearful or ashamed we should afford ourselves the same opportunity to sit with our feelings. So the next time your gearing up to jump in the deep end and feel that twinge in your stomach, own those feelings AND jump right in! I'm here to tell you it's ok to sit with those feelings, AND chose to work with them- no rationalization necessary!